San Francisco Sex Information

Q: I’ve read your FAQ and read that, “It is almost impossible for a woman to become pregnant from a man ejaculating on her clothing or near her underwater. ”

My situation is that I’ve never had direct genital contact with my boyfriend (no penetration, no rubbing genitals, no nothing).

However, I’ve masturbated him, and although after his ejaculation was always on his body (and never near me), and that we have always washed our hands with water and soap afterward, not always did we wash his penis. We did wipe it dry though, and put it back in his pants.

I’m worried if I could get pregnant from him touching his penis for some reason and then touching me (which is always from the ‘outside’ too, once I have always, at least, my underwear on), therefore transferring some sort of residue with his fingers and allowing sperm near my vagina.

Or maybe, from a second time after ejaculation, if he touches the outside of my panties with a little precum on his fingers. I’d like to just mention that he has never touched my with his hands soaking with semen, nor dripping precum and that he has never directly touched my vagina (always at least one layer of clothing between us).

My period is now 3 days late and I’m starting to freak out, specially because I didn’t feel PMS symptoms this month. Could I be pregnant?

A: The only way for a woman to get pregnant is for semen to be directly inserted into the vaginal canal. Pregnancy is a fairly delicate process, and many things have to go well for a pregnancy to take hold.

From the situations you describe, it is very, very unlikely if not impossible for you to be pregnant. It is not possible to get pregnant through clothing. So any amount of semen or sperm on the outside of your underwear is not going to lead to pregnancy. If he touches his penis and then touches the outside of your clothes, you will not get pregnant. Even if he touched his penis and touched your vagina directly, it is very unlikely that you could become pregnant.

Menstrual cycles can be impacted by many things, including eating and sleeping habits, and stress. Sometimes, excessive worry about your cycle can contribute to it being late. We recommend that you relax, take care of yourself, and contact a medical health provider if you continue to have concerns. If you are still worried, you can always take a pregnancy test to answer your questions concretely.

Q: I’m trying to find accurate and consistent window periods for testing for various STDs as well as how long it takes to get results. Unfortunately, this information seems to be very hard to find at all and sometimes conflicting when I do find it. I know this will vary from state to state, clinic to clinic

Of greatest concern is the time it takes to get results. Please give me information for all the common STDs. Thanks.

A: Here are our best answers, broken down by disease.

> Chlamydia – standard used to be a bacterial culture (takes a few days to come back), but more common nowadays and more preferred for accuracy is a bacterial DNA PCR or SDA (both are types of NAAT). This can give results overnight. Both tests most commonly use urine samples. Window period is 2 days to 2 weeks.

> HPV – HPV testing done in the form of a visual inspection plus an application of acetic acid in a clinic can give you immediate results as to whether or not a lesion is HPV. This is the only way one can test for warts. Pap smears need to be read by a cytologist in a lab; depending on how busy your clinic’s lab is, this could take a few days or as long as two weeks to receive a result. Window period can be a few weeks to a few years; unfortunately, if someone gets an HPV outbreak or abnormal pap smear, it could be the result of HPV exposure from several years ago.

> Gonorrhea – same as Chlamydia. Time does not vary by specimen location per se; that said, some labs require a different collection tube for oral/throat specimens, and that can take a couple of extra days. Window period 2 days to 2 weeks.

> Herpes – visual inspection is the starting point, and suspicious lesions or rashes can be swabbed for viral culture. The culture takes a couple of days to grow in the lab, and may take an extra day for the lab to run typing on the viral DNA to distinguish between HSV I and HSV II. Blood Ab tests should take about a day to come back as reactive or not, and another day to run typing between HSV I and HSV II. Window period 2 days to 2 months; some people may contract HSV but never have obvious symptoms of an outbreak.

> HIV – we don’t have statistics about how many places use rapid tests vs. DNA tests; that said, in San Francisco, most clinics use rapid tests as a starting point to check for antibodies; any reactive test is confirmed with multiple Ab tests (Western blot and Elisa) and a PCR and/or a viral load. It is less common for clinics in this area to send tests to an outside lab for Ab. Ab and PCR tests should be available from a lab in a couple of days. Window period varies state-to-state; in California for antibody testing, it is 2 weeks to 6 months, with 98% of people developing antibodies 3 months after contracting HIV. DNA PCR tests are accurate 6 weeks after exposure.

> Syphilis – the blood test is an Ab test, either VDRL or RPR. Both of these take multiple steps: one to find an initial reactivity, and another to confirm that it is due to the syphilis bacterium. People with a history of syphilis infections will always test positive on the first step, so their specimens will always require multiple steps. The first step of this test can usually be completed in a day or two, with another day or two for subsequent steps on reactive specimens. Window period up to 2 months.

> Trichomoniasis – most clinics do not send specimens to outside labs for testing, though there is a culture available. Clinicians can diagnose trich off of a wet mount: a sample of discharge smeared onto a microscope slide examined in your doctor’s office. It is rare to test men for this infection, as they seldom have symptoms, but if a woman tests positive for trich she can request medication for her partners. Window period 1-2 weeks.

One thing we’d note about the more sensitive tests: they can sometimes be too sensitive and give false positive results. We have heard clients say that they test positive on a test, ask for a retest, and then show up negative. Also, depending on what lab your clinic or doctor’s office uses, test results may be delayed. We hear from local clinics that specimens they send to the local Department of Public Health Lab can take as long as 2 weeks to return results to them, but private labs may return results overnight. Your provider’s office may have either financial or contractual considerations as to which labs they use.

Reliable sources to get information about testing and window periods are:
http://www.labtestsonline.org/
http://www.ashastd.org/

Q: What is the actual size for a 14 year old boy’s penis?

A: Thank you for your question. The length and circumference of the penis of boys will change as they grow older and go through puberty. Puberty is the process of physical changes by which a child’s body becomes an adult body capable of reproduction. Puberty will occur at different ages for different boys, for some it can start as early as 9 and for others not until 14 or even later. Two fourteen years old boys can have penis sizes that are significantly different. Some boys will not have achieve their adult size penis until late in their teen years. Most adult men will have a penis that is about 4 inches long when flaccid and 5 to 7 inches in length when erect.

Q: Hey, I’m a 17 year old junior in high school, and I’ve been friends with my neighbor since I can remember. His sister, 14, has always gotten along with me also. She asked me if we wanted to go “hang out” in her room. But then luckily some friends I play football with drove by, and I went to a party. Am I a massive asshat if I take her up on her offer? I feel it could be wrong since we have known each other for such a long time and 4 years seems like a HUGE difference.

Thanks!

(she is ridiculously hot though)

Also, if I do take her up on her offer, and we start hanging out more, how do I talk to her brother about it, without making him want to hit me?

PS. Thinking about this doesn’t make me an asshat of a friend and a pervert right?
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Q: I have a question about sex. I have been trying for a long time to get my pussy to squirt. Can you please help me. Can you send me a guide that might help me do this.

A: Not all women are able to squirt, but some are able to do so either on their own or with some practice. Most women who squirt start out by stimulating their g-spot, a small area of spongy tissue on the upper wall of a woman’s vagina. To find the G-spot, put your finger or fingers in your vagina and, with your fingers curving upwards (toward your belly) , make a “come here” motion, stroking the upper wall of your vagina with a firm, upward pressure. Not all women enjoy this type of stimulation, but if you do, continue experimenting to find out what works best for you. Some women orgasm from g-spot stimulation, and sometimes that orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation of fluid, or “squirting.” To learn a little more about g-spot stimulation and how to squirt, check out the resources listed below:

Babeland’s Guide to Female Ejaculation
The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by Violet Blue
Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl