Q: I am in a relationship with someone who is transitioning, M to F, about six months on hormone therapy. This is my first relationship with anyone transgendered, and I find myself not exactly woefully ignorant, but without the resources to deal with this. Is there a support group for the friends/lovers/families of TG’s?
I also need a reliable and detailed source of medical info, about the process and what’s involved. I really love this person, and want to be the best support person I can be. We’ve been talking about the possibility of having a child before its too late. How does estrogen effect sperm? does it lower sperm counts, and more importantly, can getting pregnant while the male partner is taking hormones cause birth defects? What’s the legal gender status of someone who doesn’t fully transition? I mean, say they live full time as a woman, get implants and feminizing surgery, but don’t get the naughty bits removed. If we were to marry while she’s still male, would the marriage still be binding after a full transition?
Are there therapists that specialize in this sort of thing? Any that work for cheap? Can you send me a bunch of referrals? I can get pretty much anywhere in the Bay Area for meetings. Thanks.
A: In the San Francisco Bay Area, there are many groups for transpeople and their loved ones. There is a good list at TransGender San Francisco.
The legal and medical questions would be best directed to professionals in those fields. One good resource for transgender legal support is the Transgender Law and Policy Institute. This site may help you to find the information you are looking for, particularly in their resources section. We found a resource at TSRoadmap which outlines the process of transition, including some of the medical and legal issues. Once again, the legal and medical questions can be answered in even more depth by talking to a lawyer or a doctor who specializes in serving the trans community.
Taking estrogen will produce a very rapid drop in sperm production, so it is recommended that your partner banks some sperm with a local sperm bank before starting to take hormones.
To find a therapist who specializes in these issues, you can go to AASECT or to SFBACCT. Both of these resources list therapists who can help you. New Leaf Services specializes in therapy and support services for the LGBT community. All of these resources will feature therapists who are willing to work on a sliding scale.
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