San Francisco Sex Information

Q: Am I supposed to have my period while I’m on Depo Provera?

A: Periods become fewer and lighter for most women on Depo Provera, and often stop altogether. The longer a woman uses the shot, the more likely her periods will stop, and it may take up to a year for periods to return after a woman’s last shot. But some women will have longer, heavier periods, and some may have increased light spotting and breakthrough bleeding–occasionally to the point of bleeding all the time.

Some good resources for more information around Depo Provera include the Wikipedia entry, Planned Parenthood, and from the manufacturer of Depo, Pfizer.

Q: I am in my early 30’s and don’t seem to get hard erections for any length of time like I used too. I know this is common with aging but am I too young for this to be happening? If I ask my doctor, am I too young for Viagra or something similar? Also, I have been taking Sertraline (Zoloft) and Trazodone for about 5 weeks now. I haven’t read of such side effects but could this medication be diminishing my ability to get erections? What should I do?

A: If you were previously not having problems obtaining or maintaining an erection it is extremely likely that this issue is due to your new medications. Zoloft is notorious for this side effect. However, some studies have indicated that a side effect of Trazodone in some men may be to increase the duration of erections.

In your early 30s, you’re not too young for Viagra, which may help with the problem. Your best bet is to discuss this issue with your prescribing doctor. If you received your medications from a psychiatrist instead of a general practitioner they should, hopefully, be fairly well-educated on the sexual side effects of most SSRI medications. Some doctors prescribe Welbutrin, which has fewer sexual side effects but can have other non-sexual side effects. In any case, talking to your doctor about either changing your meds and/or trying Viagra may make the most sense. Different SSRI medications have different side effects on everyone, so you may have to try a few to find what’s best for you.

Q: I am female and my boyfriend and I have sex frequently, but I’ve never had an orgasm. Here is my problem: he will be on top and will be doing some sort of move that feels wonderful and if he were to keep it up I would possibly have an orgasm. Problem is it just so happens that’s what makes him have his orgasm too. What can we do so that I can experience what would happen if he were to keep going? And this is the only position that I have found that feels like I could possibly experience an orgasm. Any tips on what I could do to experience an orgasm? Also he always wants me to “talk dirty” during sex and when he asks me that I just draw blank lines…any suggestions on what I could say?

A: Have you ever had an orgasm while masturbating? If so, you might want to think about recreating that sensation while having sex with your boyfriend. However, do not be closed off to the idea that you can have an orgasm in more than one position with varying types of stimulation. If you have not ever had an orgasm, even while masturbating, you may want to think about what kinds of mental or emotional blocks you have around letting go.

If there is this one particularly great position that seems to work for both of you, but your boyfriend always orgasms first, you can either try recreating this position with a dildo, or you can work on having him hold out a little longer before he has his orgasm. There are many different suggested techniques for guys to last longer, but different things work for different people. Perhaps he can masturbate a few hours before you have sex and that might help him last longer. Try looking up other techniques online if you’re still curious about that.

As for talking dirty, we don’t have any specific lines or phrases that we think you should say. But, if you want to be prepared, think about some things in advance and write them down for yourself. There are also some suggestions at Sex Info 101. Also, you can look for erotic stories as those might give you some good ideas. Then, when the situation arises again you’ll have some things in mind to say.