Q: I always knew that my boyfriend watched some type of porn that he didn’t want to tell me about, but last night I was finally able to get him to tell me. He told me that he likes to watch shemale porn and tranny porn. Does this make him gay? I asked him if he was and he said no. I am just having a hard time dealing with the fact right now that he likes seeing a man with a penis doing a woman with a penis. Please explain what is going on! I am very confused as what to do or what to think!
A: Fantasy and fetish are just that – fantasies and fetishes. A tranny porn fetish does not change your boyfriend’s sexual orientation. Lots of folks enjoy all kinds of fantasies and fetishes. It might even enhance your sex life together to incorporate your boyfriend’s fetish into your sex life. On the other hand – if it bothers you, why not just let your boyfriend enjoy his fantasies solo and leave it at that?
Lots of people experiment with various sexual fantasies – but never pursue them in real life. That’s why they are called fantasies. If the porn isn’t affecting your sex life together, why dwell on it?
Followup:
Q: Thank you so much for your insight. He had kind of brought up the idea of me wearing a strap on which I would be fine with. I just wasn’t sure if they were fantasies or if he liked men, Do you have any tips or advice on how to incorporate his fantasies into our sex life? I’m very open sexually and am willing to do just about anything. Thanks again, you really made me feel better.
A: The best tip that we can give you is to talk to him–he knows his fantasies better than anyone! It sounds like he’s already suggested one idea; so if you’re open to it, let him know that. And let him know that you’re interested in other ideas he might have for incorporating this fantasy. You might also talk with with him about ways in which the two of you could make his fantasy hot for you, or combine it with a fantasy of your own. That makes it less like a favor that you’re doing for him, and more something really mutual that you do together.
Since you said that he didn’t want to tell you about his tranny interest at first, it sounds like he might be shy or embarrassed about it. So be ready for the possibility that it might take him a little while to get comfortable talking about it–let alone enacting it. Also, lots of people have some fantasies that they really want to remain just fantasies, or that they just don’t want their partners’ involvement in. So be ready for the possibility that watching tranny porn by himself is exactly how he wants to express this fantasy, and that he might not be interested in exploring it further.
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