Q: My wife and I have been having anal sex at least twice a week for the last 10 years (I’m 39). I’m the one receiving. I take a lot of precautions to make sure every thing is clean via anal douching. We have used the same strap on, condoms and generous amounts of silicone based lube. My problem is for the last month there has been trace amounts of blood on the condom when she pulls it out of me. It’s not painful and the orgasms are mind blowing as always. I’m wondering if this could be a prelude to a bigger problem. If not, any suggestions to stopping the bleeding. My wife is becoming apprehensive about this activity as she thinks she’s hurting me. I am a healthy male with virtually no problems in the past. We can’t imagine not having this part of our sex life.
A: You and your wife are already doing most of the things we suggest for good anal play. You probably already know that there’s not really such a thing as too much anal sex, especially the careful way you’re going about it. A small amount of blood (a few smears on toilet paper) after anal sex is something that happens to a fair number of people, even if there is no pain during or after the sex. It’s new in your experience so to narrow things down here are a few suggestions.
- Are you douching with water or the fluid that comes in the commercial douches? We strongly recommend using warm water and not the commercial fluids. You can easily replace the fluid.
- Try using a narrower strap-on and see if that helps.
- Re-visit the basics. Even though you’ve been doing this a long time it might not hurt to review the practice of anal pleasure. We recommend the books The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Bill Brent or Anal Pleasure & Health by Jack Morin Ph. D.
As a person ages all their tissues become more fragile. It’s not “all downhill” after 30 but the early 40s is a time of change in hormones and health for many men. If the above suggestions don’t show improvement for you – i.e. the blood keeps happening – it’s time to go see a medical professional. In fact, if you’ve never had a rectal exam or it’s been a few years we strongly suggest visiting the proctologist or get a referral from a general care physician. You may have concerns about telling a doctor about anal sex. Doctors are professionals with practice hearing all sorts of things but they are also people with personal judgments. If they do not treat you or your condition seriously please don’t be discouraged. Your health and your sexual relationship with your wife are the important outcomes.
If it turns out there’s nothing wrong health-wise you may need to talk with your wife about some changes to the routine. Reactions to the blood could be minimized by knowing that it’s just a part of anal sex. Alternately, you could try receiving anal sex once a week for a month and see if that’s enough for you both or adding other activities you both find sexy.
Post a Comment