San Francisco Sex Information

Q: I am an 18 year old guy and I have a question I need help with. Me and my girl were having sex I pulled out and came. I spit on a shirt and wiped myself off and made sure I got down deep to get all the sperm down in the shaft out. After I wiped it off with saliva and a shirt I made sure all of it was off then I stuck my dick back in her. Will she get pregnant because I’m not ready for a kid.

A: Thanks for sending us your question; we’re glad you’re taking the time to ask and learn a bit more about sex and the risk of pregnancy. While we can’t tell you for sure whether your girlfriend will get pregnant or not, we can tell you what to look for over the next few weeks. Anytime you put your penis inside your girlfriend’s vagina there’s a risk she will get pregnant, no matter whether you plan to pull out, or whether you wipe semen off your penis before you put it back in. But overall, the risk of pregnancy from a single sexual encounter isn’t all that high; it’s your long-term habits that count.

If your girlfriend has gotten pregnant, she may not have any symptoms for a while. She may not even miss her period; some women get a light period a couple weeks after they get pregnant. But many women begin to feel nausea and will miss their periods, so keep an eye out for those symptoms. If you want to be sure, buy a home pregnancy test. The earliest you can take it is a week after her next period, or after she misses her next period, depending on the pregnancy test. Make sure to read the instructions.

It sounds like this whole experience made you feel anxious about the possibility of pregnancy, so we want give you some information to help you decide if you want to use a birth control method in the future. After all, some activities are riskier than others. The highest risk is if you ejaculate inside, but pulling out, like you did, offers some protection. Over time, though, there is still a fairly substantial risk of pregnancy. For your typical couple using the withdrawal method (pulling out), there’s a one in four chance of getting pregnant over the course of one year. You can lower your risk if you use some sort of protection. A condom, for a typical couple, will give a one in ten chance of getting pregnant, and hormonal methods, such as the Pill, will give a one in fifty chance or lower.

Q: My lover and I are starting to try sex in different places to spice things up. What information do you have about sex somewhere like a spa or hot tub? We’d like to know what positions are good and some other fun things we could try. Also, is there anything we need to know about having sex in the shower? We tried but it was awkward.

A: Thanks for your question! Many people enjoy sex in spas, bath tubs, and showers. Positions and activities are limited only by physical safety and your imagination. For spa/bath tub sex, you might want to try a seated position. You didn’t state the gender of your partner, but if your partner is male, you can straddle his lap, ether facing toward him or away from him, and if your partner is female, you might want to try one of you sitting in the other’s lap, facing away, with the person on the bottom reaching around to stimulate the person on top. For shower sex, some people have sex while standing up, but if you find that awkward or difficult, you can try a position where one partner is standing up and the other partner is bending forward or leaning against a wall. Many partners also enjoy simply washing each other in the shower, either before, after, or instead of sex. Some people also use toys such as vibrators or dildos in the tub with their partners–if you do this, make sure you’re using a toy that is clearly labeled as waterproof, and when you’re done with it, remove the batteries and let it dry thoroughly.

Regarding physical safety, please keep in mind the obvious: showers and tubs are slippery! Whatever position you’re in, make sure you’re braced against a wall or something else steady. Also keep in mind that the water in most showers, spas, and tubs can reduce the natural lubrication you produce, so you might want to consider using a water- or silicone-based lube to provide additional lubrication. And if you’re using latex barriers for safer sex, avoid bath oils, body oils, or any other bath product containing oil, as oil will break down the latex.

You might also want to check out the book Aqua Erotica, which is a collection of water-themed erotica–and has waterproof pages!

Q: Is it possible for a Male-to-Female transsexual who has had Sex Reassignment Surgery to achieve sexual pleasure with that artificial vagina? Is the libido of an M2F transsexual affected in any way by SRS?

A: Sexual Reassignment Surgery is something many transgender people consider. It is possible for M2F transsexuals to achieve sexual pleasure with their new vagina and clitoris. The ability to be satisfied is something transsexuals may have to re-learn and become comfortable with - it does not generally happen automatically. Losing the ability to achieve pleasure and satisfaction is definitely a risk of the surgery. Request that your surgeon go over these risks before operating.

Here is a resource of many medical articles about the procedure, some with photos, that may clear up confusion.

As for the libido it would depend on many factors. The testicles are removed but many M2F transsexuals take hormones that would affect libido. It’s something you would need to find out from a medical source.

Q: I am looking for Ageplay munches and parties in the Bay Area. I am looking for a female partner in diapers.

A: As far as we know, there are no specific munches for age play only, but there are lots of munches in the Bay Area catering to kinky and other sexual folks.

A great place to find a list of these in the Bay Area is at the Society of Janus website calendar.

There is also a group that has roots in the Bay Area called Diaper Pail Friends. They have a website full of information, and there are personals and party announcements. In a quick glance, we found a good number of activities based in the Bay Area.

Another online resource that might have groups would be tribe.net. A good number of the members are in the Bay Area (it was started here) and in a quick search, we found 37 groups, although not all of them were adult.

Finally, Craigslist.org is a direct resource for looking for folks into age play. Look under the “Casual encounters” for a start. Or even “Men looking for women.”

Q: I am 21 and been with my beautiful boyfriend for 2 years. We have never had sex because we don’t believe in sex before marriage. Sometimes we like to get close with our clothes on. The other day something odd happened - I wiped myself and there was a tiny bit of blood. I’m not due for my period for about 2 weeks, I’ve been under a lot of stress cos of exams. I was wondering if that means my hymen broke and I’ve read somewhere that even if it breaks it doesn’t mean you are not a virgin? Is that true? I have never had sex and he is my first boyfriend and I love him so much I don’t want anything to be wrong. I’ve been crying for the past 2 or 3 days because I don’t want anything bad to happen. People tell us it’s amazing that even after 2 years we didn’t have sex. I’m worried if I fall out with this boy and I do get married to someone else they won’t believe I’m a virgin, please get back to me thank you

A: By the age of 21, most women have had their hymen break, and not necessarily through sexual activity. It does sound like it is possible that you could have had some tearing or breaking of your hymen. Sometimes, it will tear partially and some of it will be left intact. It is also possible that the bleeding was unrelated to your hymen. Some women do experience some spotting on occasion that is not their period, especially during times of stress.

A broken hymen does not mean that you have lost your virginity. Many women have their hymens break before having actual intercourse. It can break with regular physical exercise, insertion of tampons, or from masturbation, as well as from intercourse.

Virginity can mean different things to different people. For many people, virginity is connected to having vaginal intercourse, and for others, different sexual activities may also be connected. The definition of virginity can also change over time, as the currently held definitions of virginity might not reflect the same definitions that were true many years ago. We recommend that you identify what feels right for you. If somebody in the future questions your virginity, it may be important to ensure that you are working from the same definition. You can define it for yourself and your relationship.

Flaming Fire Cuties and Feathered Burlesque Beauties will light up the night while Bay Area DJs shake the dancefloor until the wee hours of the morning. Throw on your finest top hat, slip into your sexiest heels, and come into Oakland to help raise funds for San Francisco Sex Information. 21+, don’t forget your ID.

Date: Saturday, January 12th
Location: ACME Warehouse, 1281 30th St., Emeryville

Performers:
The Fingermonsters
Forest Green
Dragn’fly
Squelchy
Faye Valentine
gerber
Jose Padilla

Fire Art Provided by: Department of Spontaneous Combustion
Drinks tended by: Liquid Diet Lounge
Chill Room hosted by: Ambient Mafia

Doors open @ 9. Cost: $5-$15 , sliding scale. No-one turned away for lack of funds.