Q: I am 21 and been with my beautiful boyfriend for 2 years. We have never had sex because we don’t believe in sex before marriage. Sometimes we like to get close with our clothes on. The other day something odd happened – I wiped myself and there was a tiny bit of blood. I’m not due for my period for about 2 weeks, I’ve been under a lot of stress cos of exams. I was wondering if that means my hymen broke and I’ve read somewhere that even if it breaks it doesn’t mean you are not a virgin? Is that true? I have never had sex and he is my first boyfriend and I love him so much I don’t want anything to be wrong. I’ve been crying for the past 2 or 3 days because I don’t want anything bad to happen. People tell us it’s amazing that even after 2 years we didn’t have sex. I’m worried if I fall out with this boy and I do get married to someone else they won’t believe I’m a virgin, please get back to me thank you
A: By the age of 21, most women have had their hymen break, and not necessarily through sexual activity. It does sound like it is possible that you could have had some tearing or breaking of your hymen. Sometimes, it will tear partially and some of it will be left intact. It is also possible that the bleeding was unrelated to your hymen. Some women do experience some spotting on occasion that is not their period, especially during times of stress.
A broken hymen does not mean that you have lost your virginity. Many women have their hymens break before having actual intercourse. It can break with regular physical exercise, insertion of tampons, or from masturbation, as well as from intercourse.
Virginity can mean different things to different people. For many people, virginity is connected to having vaginal intercourse, and for others, different sexual activities may also be connected. The definition of virginity can also change over time, as the currently held definitions of virginity might not reflect the same definitions that were true many years ago. We recommend that you identify what feels right for you. If somebody in the future questions your virginity, it may be important to ensure that you are working from the same definition. You can define it for yourself and your relationship.
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Why is Caitlain’s Corner web-site no longer accessible? It seemed excellent for the informational content touching all subjects relating to sexual identity and activities useful for anyone becoming sexually active and needing information before experimentation.
A very useful site that provided information for anyone embarking on sexual activity and acquiring a sense of sexual identity where society has placed a number of taboos remaining from Victorian attudes and ignorance.
Whatever happened to the above site.
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