Q: My question is is it normal to fantasize before/during masturbation? I was taught that while it is not wrong to masturbate, it is wrong to have lustful thoughts. But I can not help myself! I MUST fantasize prior to and during masturbation in order to reach orgasm. I can’t just focus on the sensations. Is that normal and healthy? I don’t see how having thoughts can be wrong. After all, thoughts and actions are two different things right? So even having what some would consider a taboo fantasy (like thinking about being raped or forcing yourself on someone else) is okay as long as you don’t act on it right?
A: Almost all people fantasize before or during masturbation; many people fantasize during sex with a partner as well. Most people would find it difficult to reach orgasm without entertaining some sexual thoughts. The thoughts many people have can include a variety of sexual activities that may not be activities they are comfortable with engaging in in their actual lives. You’re exactly right; thoughts and actions are separate things, and no one can be harmed by your thoughts.
As far as your question about taboo fantasies, only you can answer for yourself whether acting on something is OK or not. Some people act on taboo fantasies consensually, and others just keep them internal.
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