Q: I started having sex about 6 months ago, and every time I have it I cannot feel anything. It’s supposed to feel good right? The only thing I can feel is him in me, it doesn’t feel good. Even when he fingers me, it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t stimulate me at all. Is there something wrong with me?
Last week I had unprotected sex, one week before my period (I should get it this week) If there is a chance I may become pregnant, would I still get my period and still may be pregnant, even though I’m on birth control?
A: The good news is that there is nothing wrong with you. Different women like different sorts of stimulation.
Make sure that you’re properly turned on before trying penetration. Your body probably won’t respond to penetration if you don’t work up to it first–kissing, groping, finger play, oral sex (giving and receiving). Some people like to use additional lubrication (that can be purchased at the drug store). This will reduce friction and, perhaps, enhance penetration for you.
Many women do find penetration with fingers or a penis to be pleasurable. However, most women need additional stimulation of the clitoris in order for sex to feel good to them. If intercourse and penetration aren’t satisfying you, try using fingers (your own or your partner’s) to stimulate your clitoris. Oral sex can also feel great on a clitoris. If you’re interested in experimenting a bit, consider using a vibrator.
The most important thing you can do to improve the sex you’re having, though, is to communicate with your partner. Talk about what does and doesn’t feel good to you. And if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, remember that you can always stop!
As for your questions regarding pregnancy, as long as you’re correctly using your birth control, the chances of pregnancy occurring are very small. If unprotected sex causes you to feel anxious about pregnancy, it’s probably best to use a condom every time you have sex. This will also better protect you against STDs. Please check out our pages with pregnancy information.
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