Q: I feel insecure because my shorter boyfriend likes to look at “young,” “teen,” and “petite” porn. As a 5′10″ woman in her 30s, these are fantasies I can obviously not satisfy. Do I have reason to worry? If not, what do you suggest I do to overcome this insecurity?
A: Many people enjoy watching porn that involves sex that they are not necessarily interested in, and porn definitely falls within the fantasy realm. Some straight men will even watch gay porn even though they do not want that type of sex for themselves. You do not have reason to worry, because since your boyfriend is with you, then you are the type of woman that he is attracted to and wants to have sex with.
We would suggest checking out porn selections for yourself and exploring the different kinds of porn available that glorify women that are similar to yourself. This could help you with any insecurities because you will see tall women/ women in their 30s in sexy situations, etc. If you bring home a porn selection that you want to watch with your boyfriend, he will probably be happy to join you.
Here are a couple links to give you some ideas:
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I don’t know if the people that submit these questions ever visit the page where they’re displayed, but if they do or anyone else has this problem, I’d like to offer my opinion.
Apparently, I’ll be the only one. (Really, how come no one ever comments here?)
Watching porn does not mean you are dissatisfied with the sexual relationship you have with your partner.
If your boyfriend still shows an attraction to you, and he’s not using porn to replace you, you have no need to worry. Porn is just a masturbation-enhancer for most of us.
More than anything, I suggest you just ask your boyfriend. Say, “I know this is silly, but I just need to hear from you that you find me attractive even though you enjoy watching porn that features girls very unlike me.” If your boyfriend is worth the time you’ve spent worrying about your relationship, he’ll respond reassuringly and with understanding.
I’ve had insecurities with my boyfriend, often based on nothing, and occasionally based on some pretty suggestive “evidence,” and all it took was his assurance that everything was fine to make me feel better.
Don’t hide this from your boyfriend, talk it out. And, as suggested, check out some porn yourself so you’ll have a better understanding of where the appeal comes from.
Having searched a lot of porn sites (for prof and fun) I find that one of the major draws of the so-called teen sites is that it’s one of the few remaining body-types out there where you aren’t flooded with surgically-enhanced breasts. The others are BBW, “natural” or “hippie” sites.
I would ask your BF to see some of his favorites, and then find out what aspects turn him on. You might be surprised. Hopefully the sharing will be a turn on for you both
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