Q: Gay guy here and have a question about numbing cream. It always hurts when I am getting.. er.. laid. I never seem to relax enough. Is there a cream that can ease the pain some? Just for the anus.
A: We actually don’t recommend the use of numbing creams, because they mask the pain that tells you when it’s time to slow down or back off; not being able to feel this pain can lead to injuries like anal tearing.
There are other measures you can take to make anal sex less painful and more enjoyable. Lubricant reduces friction and makes anal penetration easier, so try adding some lube if you’re not already using it–and if you are already using it, try adding some more. Again, don’t use anything that contains any sort of numbing agent, and if you’re using latex condoms for protection, don’t use anything oil-based, because that will break down the latex; there are many water- and silicone-based lubes on the market, and you can experiment a little to find one you like. You also want to be patient and try to take it slow. This can mean simply waiting until you’re turned on and feeling good (perhaps even having an orgasm first), or starting with something small like a finger or anal toy before moving on to anal sex, or both. Finally, it’s important to communicate with your partner, and let him know if you’re feeling discomfort and need him to slow down or stop.
Check out these respected books for more information:
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men – Bill Brent
Anal Pleasure and Health – Jack Morin, PhD
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