A: It is possible to find a condom that will work for you. Condoms come in hundreds of shapes and sizes. If you are able to browse the internet, please check out this site, www.condomania.com. You don’t have to buy from there, but you can look at the brands and styles and then go to your local store to buy them.

Also check out this page on the site which shows condoms with more headroom and a tight fitting base.
http://secure.condomania.com/products.asp?dept=40

In general, ensure the condom is applied correctly. Pull the foreskin back before putting it on, then push forward over the head of the penis once the condom been fully unrolled.

We are not sure why your foreskin became tight. It could be due to temperature or arousal levels. It sounds like it recovered so that’s good news. For your girlfriend who bites and pulls on your foreskin, you will just need to tell her what you like. She is probably just trying to please you and find out what feels good. The skin may be fun to play with. If you like it you should tell her or make happy noises. If you want her to do something else then tell her that too.

My situation is that I’ve never had direct genital contact with my boyfriend (no penetration, no rubbing genitals, no nothing).

However, I’ve masturbated him, and although after his ejaculation was always on his body (and never near me), and that we have always washed our hands with water and soap afterward, not always did we wash his penis. We did wipe it dry though, and put it back in his pants.

I’m worried if I could get pregnant from him touching his penis for some reason and then touching me (which is always from the ‘outside’ too, once I have always, at least, my underwear on), therefore transferring some sort of residue with his fingers and allowing sperm near my vagina.

Or maybe, from a second time after ejaculation, if he touches the outside of my panties with a little precum on his fingers. I’d like to just mention that he has never touched my with his hands soaking with semen, nor dripping precum and that he has never directly touched my vagina (always at least one layer of clothing between us).

My period is now 3 days late and I’m starting to freak out, specially because I didn’t feel PMS symptoms this month. Could I be pregnant?

A: The only way for a woman to get pregnant is for semen to be directly inserted into the vaginal canal. Pregnancy is a fairly delicate process, and many things have to go well for a pregnancy to take hold.

From the situations you describe, it is very, very unlikely if not impossible for you to be pregnant. It is not possible to get pregnant through clothing. So any amount of semen or sperm on the outside of your underwear is not going to lead to pregnancy. If he touches his penis and then touches the outside of your clothes, you will not get pregnant. Even if he touched his penis and touched your vagina directly, it is very unlikely that you could become pregnant.

Menstrual cycles can be impacted by many things, including eating and sleeping habits, and stress. Sometimes, excessive worry about your cycle can contribute to it being late. We recommend that you relax, take care of yourself, and contact a medical health provider if you continue to have concerns. If you are still worried, you can always take a pregnancy test to answer your questions concretely.

A: You said that you have tried masturbating, which is a really good way to find out what feels good and what doesn’t. What kind of techniques are you using? Have you tried using lubrication? A lot of people find clitoral stimulation can be really pleasing, directly or indirectly (touching or rubbing it with your hand and some lube, rubbing that general area with a soft object, or using a vibrator or shower massager). Many people especially find it easy to climax using a vibrator. You could also try a back massager, which can be found at any pharmacy or drugstore.

It can be helpful to experiment on your own to see what you may like, and then later try it out with a partner. Make sure that you talk to your partner before and during sex, and don’t be afraid to tell them if something feels good or bad. Also, be sure to go slowly and use enough lube. Lubrication can make a huge difference in how pleasurable sex may feel.

Keep in mind that not everyone enjoys oral sex, and people’s tastes and preferences definitely vary. It doesn’t hurt to try, but don’t get discouraged if you’re not loving the sensations.

Lastly, it’s probably a good idea to go to your doctor for an annual exam. They can make sure that everything is working just fine, and answer any other questions you may have.

Of greatest concern is the time it takes to get results. Please give me information for all the common STDs. Thanks.

A: Here are our best answers, broken down by disease.

> Chlamydia – standard used to be a bacterial culture (takes a few days to come back), but more common nowadays and more preferred for accuracy is a bacterial DNA PCR or SDA (both are types of NAAT). This can give results overnight. Both tests most commonly use urine samples. Window period is 2 days to 2 weeks.

> HPV – HPV testing done in the form of a visual inspection plus an application of acetic acid in a clinic can give you immediate results as to whether or not a lesion is HPV. This is the only way one can test for warts. Pap smears need to be read by a cytologist in a lab; depending on how busy your clinic’s lab is, this could take a few days or as long as two weeks to receive a result. Window period can be a few weeks to a few years; unfortunately, if someone gets an HPV outbreak or abnormal pap smear, it could be the result of HPV exposure from several years ago.

> Gonorrhea – same as Chlamydia. Time does not vary by specimen location per se; that said, some labs require a different collection tube for oral/throat specimens, and that can take a couple of extra days. Window period 2 days to 2 weeks.

> Herpes – visual inspection is the starting point, and suspicious lesions or rashes can be swabbed for viral culture. The culture takes a couple of days to grow in the lab, and may take an extra day for the lab to run typing on the viral DNA to distinguish between HSV I and HSV II. Blood Ab tests should take about a day to come back as reactive or not, and another day to run typing between HSV I and HSV II. Window period 2 days to 2 months; some people may contract HSV but never have obvious symptoms of an outbreak.

> HIV – we don’t have statistics about how many places use rapid tests vs. DNA tests; that said, in San Francisco, most clinics use rapid tests as a starting point to check for antibodies; any reactive test is confirmed with multiple Ab tests (Western blot and Elisa) and a PCR and/or a viral load. It is less common for clinics in this area to send tests to an outside lab for Ab. Ab and PCR tests should be available from a lab in a couple of days. Window period varies state-to-state; in California for antibody testing, it is 2 weeks to 6 months, with 98% of people developing antibodies 3 months after contracting HIV. DNA PCR tests are accurate 6 weeks after exposure.

> Syphilis – the blood test is an Ab test, either VDRL or RPR. Both of these take multiple steps: one to find an initial reactivity, and another to confirm that it is due to the syphilis bacterium. People with a history of syphilis infections will always test positive on the first step, so their specimens will always require multiple steps. The first step of this test can usually be completed in a day or two, with another day or two for subsequent steps on reactive specimens. Window period up to 2 months.

> Trichomoniasis – most clinics do not send specimens to outside labs for testing, though there is a culture available. Clinicians can diagnose trich off of a wet mount: a sample of discharge smeared onto a microscope slide examined in your doctor’s office. It is rare to test men for this infection, as they seldom have symptoms, but if a woman tests positive for trich she can request medication for her partners. Window period 1-2 weeks.

One thing we’d note about the more sensitive tests: they can sometimes be too sensitive and give false positive results. We have heard clients say that they test positive on a test, ask for a retest, and then show up negative. Also, depending on what lab your clinic or doctor’s office uses, test results may be delayed. We hear from local clinics that specimens they send to the local Department of Public Health Lab can take as long as 2 weeks to return results to them, but private labs may return results overnight. Your provider’s office may have either financial or contractual considerations as to which labs they use.

Reliable sources to get information about testing and window periods are:
http://www.labtestsonline.org/
http://www.ashastd.org/

A: Aren’t dreams amazing? So, what you have experienced is only a dream. Just as simple as that. There’s nothing wrong with feeling interested in kissing a girl or a boy. You are 14 years old and are still getting used to your body, and other feelings that come up. Fantasies are fun to have. Figuring out if you really like boys or girls in reality is something you have lots of time to do. What you are experiencing is pretty normal, and just realize that there are other girls and boys who might feel the same way. Again, its normal to have dreams and also to wonder what is the right path for you.

A: Thank you for your question. The length and circumference of the penis of boys will change as they grow older and go through puberty. Puberty is the process of physical changes by which a child’s body becomes an adult body capable of reproduction. Puberty will occur at different ages for different boys, for some it can start as early as 9 and for others not until 14 or even later. Two fourteen years old boys can have penis sizes that are significantly different. Some boys will not have achieve their adult size penis until late in their teen years. Most adult men will have a penis that is about 4 inches long when flaccid and 5 to 7 inches in length when erect.

Eventually I might share all this with my wife/girlfriend but there in lies the problem. I am a good looking guy and I get a fair amount of attention from women, and I really want to take advantage of it. I want to be able to frivolously have sex with a woman without having to do her in the ass, have her do me in the ass, or have me dressed as a woman. I want to be able to turn myself on more by traditional penis in vagina sex. I fear this is going to impede my hunt for finding the right girl for me as I have to have this giant disclaimer first. I am seriously fine with having these desires stored in me and will use them when I feel comfortable with bringing them out, but what I want most is to be able to just date and have sex with regular women and still feel satisfied. Any help would be great.

A: Here are a few suggestions:

- Find some penis-vagina porn that turns you on and excites you. If you do this, you could save this in your memory bank to use for masturbation or while having sex and it can be exciting rather than just that thing that doesn’t turn you on.

- Do not masturbate a few days prior to having sex. This can help you maintain an erection for a longer period of time. Using a cock-ring could work too since it restricts blood flow to the penis and keeps the erection harder longer. We recommend one made of rubber, velcro or one that snaps so that it is easy to remove if you need to.

- Try using a different method for penis-vagina sex by giving a hand-job, blow-job or using a sex toy.

- Find like-minded people on websites, like alt.com or okcupid.com, who are interested in anal sex, even anal and transsexual porn.

Sometimes sex is just about having sex. It doesn’t necessarily mean having perfect sex all the time. Every sexual experience does not need to be a perfect 10. If you walk into a potential sexual experience knowing that it can be good, but not necessarily great, it might help you to feel more comfortable and aroused by the activities that you do end up having. You can definitely be OK and satisfied with having “regular” sex, but it is something that might not ever be equally enjoyable to you as some of the other activities you engage in.

Some women are into anal sex too. Other women may not be into penis-vagina sex at all. There are all sorts of potential partners out there!

Thanks!

(she is ridiculously hot though)

Also, if I do take her up on her offer, and we start hanging out more, how do I talk to her brother about it, without making him want to hit me?

PS. Thinking about this doesn’t make me an asshat of a friend and a pervert right?

A: You are definitely not a pervert because you are attracted to your friend’s sister. Most boys your age are attracted to one or some of the girls in their lives, and this is completely normal.

First of all, just because your friend’s sister asked you to “hang out”, it does not necessarily mean that things need to get physical between you two. You might want to talk to her to see exactly what she wants (dating, relationship, something physical, etc) before you decide to do anything.

Secondly, 3 or 4 years can be a pretty big difference, especially next year when you turn 18, when there could be legal concerns depending on how her parents feel about your relationship. We have read that in your state, the legal age of consent is currently 14 with parental consent and 16 without it. We are not lawyers, however, and these laws do change. Things could turn out ok, however. It depends a lot on both you and this girl, how mature you both are, and how both of your families feel about things.

You mentioned that you are afraid of your friend, this girl’s brother. You may want to try talking to him about how you feel and about what his sister has said, and see how he reacts to that. From there, you can gauge whether or not it is worth pursuing things with the sister.

Interviews for training will be held on Tue, Oct 6th at 7pm and Sat, Oct 17th at 1pm — interview meetings typically include an introduction to SFSI and last about 90 minutes.

For more information, please contact the training coordinators at tc@sfsi.org.
To sign up, please fill out our Training application form.

Training dates will be:
Oct 24th/25th Weekend 1: Intro to SFSI Style Sex Education
Nov 7th/8th Weekend 2: Sex and Medical Science
Nov 21st/22nd Weekend 3: Sex and Social Science
Dec 5th/6th Weekend 4: Sex: All the rest
Training typically starts at 9am and ends around 5 or 6pm each day. This may be modified on some days, so ask.

Please fill out an application if you are interested in attending an orientation/group interview. Note that we cannot offer alternative or individual interviews; so if you cannot attend either of the scheduled orientation/group interview sessions for a given training, you will have to wait to apply to a later training.

A: Not all women are able to squirt, but some are able to do so either on their own or with some practice. Most women who squirt start out by stimulating their g-spot, a small area of spongy tissue on the upper wall of a woman’s vagina. To find the G-spot, put your finger or fingers in your vagina and, with your fingers curving upwards (toward your belly) , make a “come here” motion, stroking the upper wall of your vagina with a firm, upward pressure. Not all women enjoy this type of stimulation, but if you do, continue experimenting to find out what works best for you. Some women orgasm from g-spot stimulation, and sometimes that orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation of fluid, or “squirting.” To learn a little more about g-spot stimulation and how to squirt, check out the resources listed below:

Babeland’s Guide to Female Ejaculation
The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by Violet Blue
Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl