San Francisco Sex Information

Q: I am a lesbian in my late-20s. It’s been 12 years since I was introduced to the first fetish of my life i.e Ass Play. Gradually I’ve got more nasty and dirty. I feel weird when I say am into shit play but it gives me immense pleasure and a heavy orgasm. Am only into rubbing and watching it come out in the mirror nothing else. Do you think am sick? Or is it normal? I rub it only on my breasts and ass but one thought really excites me, is it safe if i rub it on my pussy?

A: While shit play (a.k.a. copraphilia) may not be the most common fetish, there are certainly other people who enjoy it, and there is nothing wrong with it as long as you are being safe, sane, and consensual if you play with any partners.

However, we recommend that you don’t rub it on your pussy. Fecal matter contains many different types of bacteria and microorganisms which cause vaginal infections. You might consider using some type of protective barrier, such as a dental dam or saran wrap.

Q: I sometimes wonder if I am normal. I am horny all the time and cannot help day dreaming about women I meet and or casually view. Which is ironic, because when I was a teenager my friends would say check out that babe and I just did not get it. Now in my fifties I cannot help checking them out. Moreover, I masturbate more now than ever some times up to four times in a day.

After three long term relationships one which included 15 years of marriage I don’t want another relationship, because all the partners I have met have trouble keeping up with my libido. And when the sex stops I want out. Am I just immature or am I suffering from OCD?

I heard about this new or old therapy called Tantric massage which I assume is aimed at approaching sex from a spiritual perspective allowing one to focus on pleasing ones partner instead pleasing ones self. Don’t get me wrong I was into giving my partners massages, showering them with gifts, romance (writing poems) and ensuring they had a great time or at least pretended to. I wonder is Tantra real or is it just an excuse to make 200 bucks per hour for a massage?
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Q: Can daily masturbation (for a long time, like years) end in male infertility? Is there anything definite about sperm quality, for example could masturbating change the quality of sperm which might lead to a mentally retarded child?

A: Semen is a fully renewable resource. While ejaculating may lower your sperm count temporarily, when you ejaculate semen, your body simply makes more the same way your body makes more saliva after you spit. Masturbation has no known negative health effects. We recommend Jackinworld for more male masturbation info.

Q: I’m a married man in my 20s and I love my wife very deeply. I have a strange fetish that I have some questions about though. Before we have sex I like for my wife to talk to me about her past sexual experiences. I love my wife and wouldn’t give her up for anything in the world, but there is something about picturing her being pleased by another man that just drives me wild. Is this normal? Any information on this subject would be greatly appreciated.

A: Enjoying this activity with your wife is a completely normal thing to do. Many have often asked, and having this fantasy is completely normal. We’re sure there are many men who think about their girlfriend/wives having sex with other men while they watch. There is nothing wrong with it. People like fantasies and there’s nothing wrong with fantasies and imagination during sex.

Q: My friend told me that to use douches too much is not good for a woman? Is that true? Also if it is alright how often should someone use it? Like every few months?

A: Many doctors and health organizations now agree that there is no reason for douching unless your doctor specifically recommends it. Douching can disturb the normal pH (acidity) and the balance of “good” bacteria in a healthy vagina, leading to infections of unhealthy bacteria (known as bacterial vaginosis). There may be an association between douching and pelvic inflammatory disease because douching could push bacteria from the vagina up into the uterus.

It is not necessary to douche to clean the vagina. A healthy vagina will naturally clean itself. You can rinse your vulva with water in the shower or bath. You should only use very mild soap, if you decide to use soap at all.

Some women douche to change the smell of their genitals. A healthy woman’s genitals do have a smell, but it should not be unpleasant. If a woman notices a strong odor (sometimes fishy) or unusual discharge, it is likely that she has an infection that will need to be diagnosed and treated by a doctor. Douching might temporarily cover up the symptoms, but it will not do anything to treat the infection. It might even make it worse.

Q: I would like to know if you could help me overcome an unusual fetish that I have.

My fetish’s accepted name is been Wet and Messy fetish. It is featured on sex websites that I’ve been visiting since I got the Internet at age 13. Now I’ve been to many sites seeing how I can stop this fetish of mine. It’s one that I no longer want to practice with my partners because I feel it damages the relationship a bit. Personally, I cannot stop watching videos containing females getting, slimed, pied, food fights and so on. I feel maybe it seemed from the extensive amounts of Nickelodeon that I watched as a kid. Regardless that is not helping me solve the problem…

Recently, I’ve been visiting pay sites and various videos on YouTube, not necessarily sexually related, just ones featuring women. I watch them any chance I can get. As far as the pay sites, I have spent over 300 dollars on videos that I’ve in turn deleted in hopes of curtailing by viewing.

Interestingly enough, I have had partners that have partaken and enjoyed this with me, however I feel it is costly and I’m starting to have to conserve food as it is because expenses are getting tight.

Can you help?
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Q: My girlfriend and I have decided to have anal sex. Do you have any tips? We’re supposed to use lube right ? How do we prepare ourselves?

A: Here are a few tips for making anal sex enjoyable:
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Q: I have a question about knowing if a partner is satisfied in bed. Does the look on a partner’s face while his penis inside the vagina tell if he is satisfied? Can he tell if I am satisfied when his penis is inside my vagina? Do the sounds made by a partner tell? What kind of sounds are common when he is enjoying himself? Is his desire to do it again a sign of being satisfied in bed?

A: The best (and really only) way to know if someone is satisfied in bed is to ask directly. There is no noise or facial expression that means the same thing for every person. Communication between partners is very important. Tell him how you’re feeling in words, and ask the same of him.

Q: I’m a 28yr old woman. Last week I was having sex and my vagina kept making a farting sound. I got worried and stopped having sex. Do you know what could have caused this or is it a problem that I should see a doctor about?

A: Thanks for your question. There can be many strange body noises during sex that are perfectly normal. When a woman gets more turned on, her vagina lengthens inside and gets wider by the uterus to create more room. During sex, air can get inside the lengthened vagina, and when it comes back out, it makes a farting sound. This is also called a queef, or vaginal flatulence. It is perfectly normal and is nothing to worry about.

Q: Is it safe to have multi orgasms inside my partner without changing the condom? I mean, I would ejaculate inside her and while there is still sperm inside the condom, continue thrusting all over again. Won’t there be a chance of sperm getting outside the condom and inside her? Were there situations of unwanted pregnancy from situations like this?

A: Continuing to use the same condom after ejaculating in it does increase the chance that slippage will occur, especially if the penis softens after ejaculation, between orgasms.

It is generally recommended that condoms are changed after each sex act. Because you are continuing the same sex act, it would be a good idea to try to notice how hard or soft you are between orgasms and act accordingly. That is, if your multiple orgasms come in quick succession and you stay hard, there is less chance of sperm getting outside of the condom. If what you mean by having multiple orgasms is that you get soft in between, but you are still having orgasms close together in time then the condom is more likely to slip.

When you are done, hold the base of the condom as you pull out to prevent spills. You can also check the base of the condom during sex to make sure it is still properly in place. If the condom slips or sperm gets outside of the condom and into the vagina then there is a possibility of pregnancy.