San Francisco Sex Information » fellatio http://blog.sfsi.org Free, confidential, non-judgmental advice about sex Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:39:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 How can I give my partner that “fellatio” feeling? http://blog.sfsi.org/2007/08/20/how-can-i-give-my-partner-that-fellatio-feeling/ http://blog.sfsi.org/2007/08/20/how-can-i-give-my-partner-that-fellatio-feeling/#comments Mon, 20 Aug 2007 23:44:08 +0000 Lil'Miss B http://blog.sfsi.org/2007/08/20/how-can-i-give-my-partner-that-fellatio-feeling/ Q: First, a little background. I’m a heterosexual man with TS (better known as a F2M transsexual). I’ve been seeing a heterosexual woman for about 7 months. I’ve had top surgery and am scheduled for bottom surgery next summer to finish the transition. The other day, the woman I’m seeing said that she misses giving fellatio. I don’t really know how to take what she said to me, since she hasn’t ever expressed anydissatisfaction with our love-making. If you were me, what would you make of the situation. I plan on discussing the matter with her this week and could really use some help with communicating in a way that is honest and direct about the situation.

A: We’re going to assume you aren’t attempting to hide your status as FTM (pre-bottom surgery) from your partner.

You’re on the right track by talking to your partner about it. It’s important to know what aspects of fellatio your partner enjoys and/or misses. Some women enjoy the act of fellatio for the psychological aspect (a perceived power exchange dynamic or for a feeling of servicing their partners), others enjoy it for the visual effect, and others enjoy the tactile sense. If you know what your partner is missing, or why she’s missing it, you may be able to work around those issues with a prosthetic such as a “Pack and Play” style dildo or some other dildo that feels to her like a biological penis. Since you’re planning on doing the bottom surgery you might consider this a temporary measure, or, perhaps in addition to other lovemaking play that the two of you engage in, even after you complete your surgery.

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