A: Good communication is often a key to positive sexual experience. However, you don’t have to spell everything out right away if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You can mention that you are less experienced, and would want your partner’s instructions. It might start an honest dialogue, an opportunity for her to explain to you what she likes. Also, relax, sex is not a marathon. Take it slow, explore each others bodies and minds at a speed and comfort level compatible to you. Pay attention to what you like and she likes, and you will probably start learning very fast.

Many men worry about the size of their cock. However, there are plenty of men of all sizes that have satisfying sexual relationships. Your cock size probably won’t be a big issue, but should this be a problem for your partner, there are alternate sexual positions you can try together. On all fours with a partner entering vagina from behind (doggy style) helps to increase the depth of penetration. You can place a pillow under her abdomen for her comfort. Some people also like to use sex toys, and/or mutual masturbation, and/or oral sex. Some women care about full penetration, others don’t, and prefer foreplay, oral stimulation, or other forms of sex play instead. Communicating about it is the only way to know for sure!

A: First, let’s talk about how people measure penises. The average sizes that you’ll hear about are usually measured along the top side (the side facing your belly button) and from the crease where the penis comes out of your body up to the opening in the head. There are also two different measurements: erect and flaccid. The average length of erect penises is somewhere around five to six inches, and the average when flaccid is around three and a half to three and three quarters inches.

So if you’re taking your measurement when erect, your penis may be on the short side. If you’re measuring when flaccid, it may be on the long side. Either way, you’re within the range of what’s normal and expected for guys. It might continue to grow a little bit into your early twenties, but probably not significantly–at eighteen most people are pretty much developed.

And there really isn’t anything to be done about it. All those pills and creams you see advertised over the Internet are fake. There are some surgeries that a few people try that can make a penis hang lower when flaccid or be thicker, but they all have low success rates, some pretty awful side effects and many guys who do get them end up being sorry that they did.

All that being said, I’d suggest that the length of your penis shouldn’t have to be a big problem for you. If it works and you enjoy using it, then it’s a fine size. You will encounter some people in the world who prefer partners with longer penises–you’ll also encounter some who prefer shorter penises, and a whole lot of people for whom it just isn’t all that important.

My penis length when erect has been as small as 3 inches and on occasion 4 inches. I would say the average length when erect is only 3.25-3.50 inches. Therefore, since my penis is about 2 inches shorter than the average erect penis size, is my penis too small for intercourse?

Second question is, since I am about 20-25 pounds overweight, will that stop me from having great sex as well (no positions possible with my penis length)? Finally, will I not be able to procreate now since my semen may not be able to ejaculate in a woman’s vagina?

A: Your penis is indeed below average but that does not mean you won’t be able to have intercourse. The length of penis that is considered too small (called a micro-penis) is about 1.5 inches.

It’s a fact that losing some weight would be helpful for accessibility to your penis. The leaner the area around your pelvis is the more positions will open up for you. Even at 20-25 pounds up you can still do intercourse. Some positions you could try that are better for a shorter penis are woman on top, or with you on top – but the woman’s knees are drawn up to her chest or her legs are up in the air. A slightly more acrobatic position is called scissors, where you and the woman would be lying with heads at opposite ends of the bed and feet towards each other, one of you is on your side. Then you would each open your legs and scoot together until your genitals were together.

Penis-vagina sex is not all there is to a healthy and happy sex life. The vagina does not have a lot of nerve endings deep inside and not all women want a large penis. They will feel some pleasure from any size penis, as they do from fingers and sex toys. For many women attention to their clit is much more important and satisfying than intercourse. You may want to look into other ways you could please and entertain a woman such as oral sex and playing out fantasies. If your partner turns out to be interested in feeling more vaginal fullness you can get some dildos that are larger and add playing with those to your sex life. For your own fulfillment you may enjoy to receive oral sex and hand-jobs, or play out fantasies, over having intercourse.

When you get to the point of wanting to procreate you won’t have a problem due to penis size. Any amount of insertion is enough to deliver sperm to the right area. Even ejaculating on the labia can lead to pregnancy. If you and your partner try for a year (if she is under 30, 6 months for over 30) and she does not become pregnant then you both could see a fertility specialist for help. The fertility specialist will be able to tell if the source of a problem is you and your sperm or if it lies with your partner.

We hope this helps!

I’m a 20 year old male and I’m very embarrassed about my penis size. It’s about 4.5 inches when erect and I’m afraid that I’m not going to be able to please my wife when we have sex, which will cause her to be majorly disappointed or even wish she’d married someone else. I’m a religious guy and have never had sex before.

I used to visit websites to see if it’s possible to enlarge my penis, and I’ve tried exercises, but your website convinced me that it’s all a big scam. Is it possible for it to keep growing after 20 or any other ways besides surgery? It doesn’t make sense; I’m a big guy so I should be bigger down there!

A: We do get a ton of penis size questions but you’re not wasting our time – this is a common concern for a lot of men. The average penis is 4 – 6 inches; so you’re well within the normal range. You’re correct that there isn’t a way to permanently alter your penis size. Pills, exercises, or penis pumps will not increase the size of the penis. Surgery will make the penis appear larger but will not increase the depth of penetration. And while a small percentage of men do continuing growing after age 18, a significant growth in penis size is extremely unlikely.

That being said, penis size isn’t the only indicator of how pleasurable the sex will be. There are many factors that contribute to a fulfilling sex life, not least among them emotional and relationship satisfaction. Most women find a variety of sexual techniques pleasurable, including oral and manual stimulation. Also, try out different sexual positions. Some, like lifting her legs onto your shoulders while in the missionary position, will allow you to penetrate more deeply. Others, like having her keep her thighs together, will increase her feeling of fullness. Keep in mind that not all women are looking for a man with a big penis; some women find that penetration with a larger penis is uncomfortable, or they may be far more interested in other qualities.