A: Adult circumcision is usually done on an outpatient basis by a urologist so there is no hospital stay, and is generally done with local anesthesia and you are awake for the procedure.

There are two techniques that are used to perform the circumcision. The dorsal slit technique involves cutting a small slit down part of the length of the foreskin then the foreskin is pulled back and cut away and sutured.

The second technique is called the sleeve technique. A skin marker is used to mark the incisions and the foreskin is cut around the body of the penis so that a “sleeve” of skin is formed. The foreskin is then separated and removed and sutured.

As with any surgical procedure there are potential complications. Your doctor should be able to tell you about these in detail.

Aftercare involves gentle washing of the wound daily for 5-7 days after which you may shower regularly. Masturbation and intercourse should be avoided for 4-6 weeks after the procedure. But, again, your doctor can give you specific details about aftercare.

For a less medically focused information on adult circumcision, you can visit Go Ask Alice.

What can a man do to gradually stretch the foreskin so that it does not tear during intercourse?

A: The difficulty with retracting the foreskin is called “phimosis”, and it isn’t uncommon in uncircumcised men. It can have different causes, so it might not be a bad idea to go get looked at by a knowledgeable doctor to narrow things down. Most commonly, doctors will recommend treatment by circumcision or by a steroid cream. Some people also have success with simply manually stretching the foreskin–gently, evenly, and frequently. One tool made to help with the manual approach can be found here: www.glansie.com

A: First of all, keep in mind that every guy is different, and that what feels good for one guy may not be great for another guy. So, the most important part of handjobs–or any kind of sex, for that matter–is communication with your partner. This could mean just paying attention to the way he responds to what you’re doing as you try different things, or asking him what he likes. He might even be willing to show you how he likes to be touched.

The general idea of a handjob is to wrap a hand around the shaft of a penis and to stroke it up and down, much the same way a guy would masturbate by himself. However, there are many, many variations: dry or with lubrication, varying the grip, speed, or firmness, or stimulating other areas as well. Both men and women have a high concentration of nerve endings in the genital area, which is what makes it feel good to be touched there. On men, these sensitive areas generally include the head and shaft of the penis, the balls, the skin around and underneath the balls, and even the anus (though many guys are not comfortable being touched there). The most sensitive place on a guy’s penis is typically on the underside, where the head meets the shaft, but just like the clitoris, this can sometimes get oversensitive if it is stimulated too much.

If you’d like to know a little more about techniques that guys use on themselves, you can check out this website on male masturbation called Jackinworld.

For more on this and other general sex information, you might want to check out a book called Guide to Getting It On, published by Goofy Foot Press.

A: Good communication is often a key to positive sexual experience. However, you don’t have to spell everything out right away if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You can mention that you are less experienced, and would want your partner’s instructions. It might start an honest dialogue, an opportunity for her to explain to you what she likes. Also, relax, sex is not a marathon. Take it slow, explore each others bodies and minds at a speed and comfort level compatible to you. Pay attention to what you like and she likes, and you will probably start learning very fast.

Many men worry about the size of their cock. However, there are plenty of men of all sizes that have satisfying sexual relationships. Your cock size probably won’t be a big issue, but should this be a problem for your partner, there are alternate sexual positions you can try together. On all fours with a partner entering vagina from behind (doggy style) helps to increase the depth of penetration. You can place a pillow under her abdomen for her comfort. Some people also like to use sex toys, and/or mutual masturbation, and/or oral sex. Some women care about full penetration, others don’t, and prefer foreplay, oral stimulation, or other forms of sex play instead. Communicating about it is the only way to know for sure!

A: First, let’s talk about how people measure penises. The average sizes that you’ll hear about are usually measured along the top side (the side facing your belly button) and from the crease where the penis comes out of your body up to the opening in the head. There are also two different measurements: erect and flaccid. The average length of erect penises is somewhere around five to six inches, and the average when flaccid is around three and a half to three and three quarters inches.

So if you’re taking your measurement when erect, your penis may be on the short side. If you’re measuring when flaccid, it may be on the long side. Either way, you’re within the range of what’s normal and expected for guys. It might continue to grow a little bit into your early twenties, but probably not significantly–at eighteen most people are pretty much developed.

And there really isn’t anything to be done about it. All those pills and creams you see advertised over the Internet are fake. There are some surgeries that a few people try that can make a penis hang lower when flaccid or be thicker, but they all have low success rates, some pretty awful side effects and many guys who do get them end up being sorry that they did.

All that being said, I’d suggest that the length of your penis shouldn’t have to be a big problem for you. If it works and you enjoy using it, then it’s a fine size. You will encounter some people in the world who prefer partners with longer penises–you’ll also encounter some who prefer shorter penises, and a whole lot of people for whom it just isn’t all that important.

My penis length when erect has been as small as 3 inches and on occasion 4 inches. I would say the average length when erect is only 3.25-3.50 inches. Therefore, since my penis is about 2 inches shorter than the average erect penis size, is my penis too small for intercourse?

Second question is, since I am about 20-25 pounds overweight, will that stop me from having great sex as well (no positions possible with my penis length)? Finally, will I not be able to procreate now since my semen may not be able to ejaculate in a woman’s vagina?

A: Your penis is indeed below average but that does not mean you won’t be able to have intercourse. The length of penis that is considered too small (called a micro-penis) is about 1.5 inches.

It’s a fact that losing some weight would be helpful for accessibility to your penis. The leaner the area around your pelvis is the more positions will open up for you. Even at 20-25 pounds up you can still do intercourse. Some positions you could try that are better for a shorter penis are woman on top, or with you on top – but the woman’s knees are drawn up to her chest or her legs are up in the air. A slightly more acrobatic position is called scissors, where you and the woman would be lying with heads at opposite ends of the bed and feet towards each other, one of you is on your side. Then you would each open your legs and scoot together until your genitals were together.

Penis-vagina sex is not all there is to a healthy and happy sex life. The vagina does not have a lot of nerve endings deep inside and not all women want a large penis. They will feel some pleasure from any size penis, as they do from fingers and sex toys. For many women attention to their clit is much more important and satisfying than intercourse. You may want to look into other ways you could please and entertain a woman such as oral sex and playing out fantasies. If your partner turns out to be interested in feeling more vaginal fullness you can get some dildos that are larger and add playing with those to your sex life. For your own fulfillment you may enjoy to receive oral sex and hand-jobs, or play out fantasies, over having intercourse.

When you get to the point of wanting to procreate you won’t have a problem due to penis size. Any amount of insertion is enough to deliver sperm to the right area. Even ejaculating on the labia can lead to pregnancy. If you and your partner try for a year (if she is under 30, 6 months for over 30) and she does not become pregnant then you both could see a fertility specialist for help. The fertility specialist will be able to tell if the source of a problem is you and your sperm or if it lies with your partner.

We hope this helps!

I’m worried about what will happen the next time we try to have sex. Could having had foreplay for so long have made me loose my erection? Is there something else that could have made me loose my erection?

A: As you say, it is possible that your body “gave up” on the possibility of having sex, and shut down your erection to save energy, so to speak.

Many men report that a quick blow job from their partner revives their erection nicely, so that they can have intercourse. Other men report that other kinds of licking, touching, caressing, or holding in various areas do the trick: nipples, butt, lower abdomen, inner thighs. You might ask your girlfriend to kiss and touch your body a bit to help you get in the mood.

The most important thing is not to lose your confidence. The brain is often said to be the most important sexual organ! You might play with having your partner tell you in that moment that she really wants to feel you inside of her. That works for a lot of guys. Along these same lines, when it’s time for intercourse, it might help for you to imagine what it will be like to have sex, and realize that you’re about to do exactly that; then you might get really turned on by your fantasy coming true, and have a massive erection.

There are a variety of condoms available in various shapes and sizes. It helps to find ones that work the best for you. If the condom is too snug, it can definitely interfere with an erection. Condom Depot is a great online shop that lets you search by condom style and size. They have diagrams and dimensions listed for each condom, and condom samplers, so that you can find the best fit for your penis. Also check out the ones with flared bases and/or extra head room like Pleasure Plus, Durex Love, or Inspiral – lots of guys use these for the same reasons you’re talking about. Others, like Durex Enhanced Pleasure have extra silky lube and a baseball-bat shape, if that works better for your penis. Some, like Crown Skinless Skin, are so thin you’ll barely notice they’re on at all.

You might want to try masturbating with various condoms first to find the one that feels the best to you, and get used to it, so that when it’s time for intercourse, you’ll be ready for action!

One last idea is to put just a drop or two of water-based lube on the tip of your penis before rolling on any condom. This helps the most sensitive part of your penis around the head get more sensation while the condom is on. Take care not to put on too much lube or the condom may slip off entirely!

A: First you should know what you two are experiencing is completely normal. Many people deal with similar issues, especially when they are first having sex, or are having sex with a new partner.

The good news is that if your boyfriend is able to maintain an erection during other types of stimulation, then there is probably nothing physically wrong. What you are dealing with may just be nervousness, excitement, performance anxiety, or other feelings coming up for you both. It sounds like he may not have been fully hard or the angle may have been difficult. Frustration with the situation may just be making it more difficult.

It may help to try a less goal oriented approach to sex. Find a time when you are both relaxed and get comfortable, and then focus on what feels good without the pressure that you have to have intercourse. Take some time to learn about what he likes, and give him feedback about what you like. For many men the type of stimulation that they get from penis/vagina sex may not feel the same as other types of stimulation i.e masturbation, manual, or oral stimulation. This might be another factor. When you do decide to move on to intercourse it may help to try different positions or angles of approach because some positions provide more or different stimulation.

If your boyfriend is having trouble maintaining an erection from any kind of stimulation, then he should get that checked out by a doctor.

I’m a 20 year old male and I’m very embarrassed about my penis size. It’s about 4.5 inches when erect and I’m afraid that I’m not going to be able to please my wife when we have sex, which will cause her to be majorly disappointed or even wish she’d married someone else. I’m a religious guy and have never had sex before.

I used to visit websites to see if it’s possible to enlarge my penis, and I’ve tried exercises, but your website convinced me that it’s all a big scam. Is it possible for it to keep growing after 20 or any other ways besides surgery? It doesn’t make sense; I’m a big guy so I should be bigger down there!

A: We do get a ton of penis size questions but you’re not wasting our time – this is a common concern for a lot of men. The average penis is 4 – 6 inches; so you’re well within the normal range. You’re correct that there isn’t a way to permanently alter your penis size. Pills, exercises, or penis pumps will not increase the size of the penis. Surgery will make the penis appear larger but will not increase the depth of penetration. And while a small percentage of men do continuing growing after age 18, a significant growth in penis size is extremely unlikely.

That being said, penis size isn’t the only indicator of how pleasurable the sex will be. There are many factors that contribute to a fulfilling sex life, not least among them emotional and relationship satisfaction. Most women find a variety of sexual techniques pleasurable, including oral and manual stimulation. Also, try out different sexual positions. Some, like lifting her legs onto your shoulders while in the missionary position, will allow you to penetrate more deeply. Others, like having her keep her thighs together, will increase her feeling of fullness. Keep in mind that not all women are looking for a man with a big penis; some women find that penetration with a larger penis is uncomfortable, or they may be far more interested in other qualities.